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Category:Political Jokes - Author:- Contributor:

State Slogans

Alabama:
At Least We're not Mississippi

Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!

Arizona:
But It's a Dry Heat

Arkansas:
Litterasy Ain't Everthing

California:
As Seen on TV

Colorado:
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character

Delaware:
We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water

Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia:
Without Atlanta we're Alabama

Hawaii:
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho:
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois:
Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana:
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa:
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas:
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky:
Five Million People; Seven Last Names

Louisiana:
We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos,
But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine:
We're Really Cold,
But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland:
A Thinking Man's Delaware

Massachusetts:
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's

Michigan:
First Line of Defense From the Canadians

Minnesota:
10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi:
Come Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri:
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work

Montana:
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else

Nebraska:
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada:
Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire:
Go Away and Leave Us Alone

New Jersey:
You Want a ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico:
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York:
You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...

North Carolina:
Tobacco is a Vegetable

North Dakota:
We Really are One of the 50 States!

Ohio:
We Wish We Were In Michigan

Oklahoma:
Like the Play, only No Singing

Oregon:
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania:
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island:
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina:
We Have Never Actually Surrendered to the North

South Dakota:
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee:
The Educashun State

Texas:
A Whole 'Nother Country!

Utah:
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont:
Yep

Virginia:
Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington:
Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

Washington, D.C.:
Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia:
One Big Happy Family -- Really!

Wisconsin:
Come Cut Our Cheese

Wyoming:
Wynot?

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Picture of the Week

Jaws - Contributor:

Joke of the Week

pharmacist - Contributor:

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little amused, explains to the woman that they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any." "But I always get it here," the blonde protests. "Do you have the container it came in?" asks the pharmacist. "YES!" says the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who examines it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant." Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads aloud from the container, "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM!"