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Category:Computer Jokes - Author:- Contributor:
Mr. or Mrs. Computer

Is your computer male or female? As you are aware, ships havelong been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes", or"She's listing to starboard, Captain!"). Recently, a group of computerscientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as beingfemale. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

1.  No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2.  The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3.  The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going totell you".

4.  Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

5.  As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were   male.  Their reasonsfollow:

1.  They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2.  They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

3.  As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4.  In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5.  Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.




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Brooms & Carrotsticks - Contributor:
Bob was joining the army and they were handing out rifles when he arrived, so he got in line. When it got to Bob, they had run out of guns. The man issuing rifles gave him a broom
"This is a magic broom -- point it at anybody, say 'Bangity bangity bang,' and they will die." Bob was really worried because he didn't think it would work, but he got in line for bayonets, thinking he might stand a chance if he could stab them to death. As luck would have it, Bob's turn came and they had ran out.
"Don't worry." said the man issuing them out. "I will give you this magic carrot -- point it at somebody, say 'Stabbity stabbity stab,' and they will die." Now Bob is terrified, going into battle with a broom and carrot, when the sirens go off, signaling invasion. Bob goes out, only to be laughed at by the enemy. One enemy even comes up to him, hoping to get a good shot at him. Well, Bob didn't have anything to lose so he pointed at him and said "Bangity bangity bang!" and the guy fell down dead. He did the same thing with the magic carrot. Amazed at what was happening, he continued to fight. Then, a guy came slowly up to him and he would not die. Bob tried to shoot and stab him, but he wouldn't die. The last words poor Bob heard as he was being trampled over were "Tankity tankity tank."
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